Thursday, September 24, 2009

Just a Foul Mouthed American...

Just watched the final episode of Larry David's show on HBO "Curb Your Enthusiasm" which features a cook with Tourette's Syndrome and it made me think. The reaction to the chef's foul regurgitation is surprise and then release. As a New Yorker, I swear all the time. My father, another native New Yorker does not swear much at all unless vexed, but my mum, another native New Yorker, swears like a trucker.

Here in India, people are very "correct", try to be very polished. My style is very direct and in your face, which causes a lot of problems at work and dealing with neighbors. For instance, I have a dog that need to regularly relieve herself. We prefer that not happen in the house, so we walk her to the empty lot a couple of doors down. Both neighbors on each side have approached me during these walks.

"Don't walk her here."

"Why, do you own this property?"

"Um, yes."

"Interesting, because the guy on the other side say he owns it, so that means one of you is a liar and the other is a bullshitter."

"Don't walk your dog here."

"This is an empty lot. There are lots of stray dogs and pigs that shit right in front of your building so why should I have to move my dog elsewhere? Just because she's on a leash? I'll walk her wherever she wants to go. She doesn't go in front of your house, so go fuck youself."

Most of my neighbors don't talk to me anymore and I really don't care. They walk right into my house when the plumber shows up or the electrician... no expectation of privacy here. I especially dislike the "Aunty Patrol", the older ladies who stroll around the colony gossiping and bitching about shit they disapprove of.

I lead my life directly. No bullshit. Most of the time I end up saying to myself, "Shit, I said that out loud?" I have no politically correct translator... no diplomatic shield... I say what I think with no restrictions, because , well, that's what being a New Yorker is. I had a conversation with my Dad about it and he said swearing just makes you look poorly bred and I agree with him, and then my mum said, "Fuck you, Dick (my dad's name). I'll talk however I want to express myself." My bro, who I haven't spoken to in 15 years, uses the "F-word" as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, gerund, etc.. and I always found him uneducated and uncouth, while I still use the same foul language. Fuck. I'm over-educated. Fuck, I'm successful in life. And you know what? I'm fucking ecstatic with my life right now.

My neighbors can go fuck themselves.

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